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Sexual Addiction, Pattern will fad away by digging into the past emotional wounds. Right at the memories of how isolated and unwanted you felt in your childhood.
OK, here comes the hard part, you need not only to experience again the same emotional pain you had as a child but, you also should accept and love the wounded inner child. God, it sounds painful and impossible doesn’t it?
Be strong and courageous enough to reach out people for help and allow them to be there for you. The more you keep yourselves away from others, the more you suffer, and the more you downward spiral in a pattern of shame and isolation.
You can make a choice between happiness and pain, between healthy life or rotten life.
Work through your past pain reading whatever combination of these articles most appeals to you (Google How To Break Difficult Emotions or How To Actually Love Yourself More).
Start talking to a person you trust. The truth will set you free. The more you can verbalize the thoughts, fears, and desires in your head, that keep you feeling stuck, the freer you can be on them. You can make it out of this if you spell out all your sick secrets.
Go to meetings and get support. If you live in a small town grant yourself with a trip to the nearest metropolitan city and participate in a Sexual Addicted Meeting.
Hearing other people’s stories will help you feel less alone in your addiction. Sharing your own experiences will free your from ruminating on how seemingly strange your thoughts/behaviors are. Externalize your fears to neutralize the same behaviors to a large degree.
Cultivate new habits. It takes less than a month to build a brand new habit by doing constantly everyday the same thing for 21 days. Og Mandino Book helps a lot in this case.
Whenever you feel stressed, anxious, depressed, and isolated like you’re going into the rabbit hole of your suffering, instead of loading up porn, cruising, and ads searching for anonymous sex, pick up the phone and call a trusted friend.
If you understand that feeling of unworthiness and isolation are at the root of your desire to act out, then the best thing you can do is connecting with someone who cares about you.
Self-awareness, self-compassion, and the courage are the best tools that take you to reach out to a friend for help.
If reaching out for support is too challenging for you when you feel like acting out, another thing that you can do is induce crying.
Emotional stress, ultimately, is just a culmination of compounded unfelt feelings. If you feel those unfelt feelings (by releasing your sadness, anger, grief, or whatever else is present for you) then there won’t be any underlying emotional turmoil for you to try to numb out. Feel your feelings, and set yourself free from the pattern.
It is well understood that addiction is a brain disease. Therefore, recovery doesn’t mean that you will never have addictive/compulsive thoughts for the rest of your life, but you should be aware and know how to manage them and not adhere to their unhealthy desires. Don’t allow yourself to be at the mercy of your addiction.
The goal of recovery is to be sexual when you’ve sexual feelings with your committed partner, as opposed to acting out sexually as a means to numb out your difficult emotions.
P.S. If you want to reach out with me directly about your unique experiences with sexual addiction and/or sexual compulsivity, I would be happy to chat with you.