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Elira Bregu

Value Conflicts, Identification and Priority


Values are those traits that are near and dear to us. Generally, as we hold our values in the highest esteem they became a guiding force for our life.

Conflict of values with the lifestyle brings out frustration and it appears in careers where so many people are doing work that is in opposition to their inner values. For example, if security is one of our major values, we most likely will not want to start a business. On the other hand, if our top values include adventure or challenge, we may be a candidate for entrepreneurship.

The easiest way to identify our top values is to answer the following question:

What is most important in our life?

To identify the values of our life in fields such as career, friendship, romance, etc., we replace the question with:

What is most important in our career or romance, etc.?

Using this simple guide can have a huge impact on our personal relationships and our ability to effectively communicate with others.

If the family is one of our highest values and we are trying to recruit them into the company, we will emphasize all the family benefits we offer. On the other hand, if we uncover the fact that our top value is position or money, we will focus on the promotion and financial opportunities available with the company.

Knowing someone's top values makes it possible for us to communicate benefits that are important to them which, in turn, results in more effective communication.

What about you? Do you know what your own success model is? Is it your children, family or sense of community?

Evaluate the time you want to spend days with your spiritual practice, career, family, health, etc. Then develop practices that will support your way of living to live the life that is your own success.

Answering the "What's most important in my life" question for yourself will produce a list of values which may include security, love, money, family, challenge, compassion, contribution, honesty, spirituality and many others.

Once you have the list, you can prioritize them in the order that reflects your hierarchy. So, start creating a short list of what's important to you. For instance, is security more important than money? Is your family more important than a challenge? Is love more important than security? Do you want to live or to survive?

By understanding the order of your values, you stand in the position to make choices that are in alignment with who you truly are. You can begin making the kinds of choices that will nourish your true needs, and as a result, you will become happier and more satisfied.

When you have your hierarchy of values you can evaluate a prospective career or job offer in relation to your own needs and values.

By using your list of values, you can design a life that will meet more of your personal needs and, as a result, be happier in whatever you do. Keep in mind that there are some 57,000 different jobs in the U.S. alone!


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